can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Randomize
