I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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