shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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