Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
