God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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