guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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