all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
