Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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