I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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