Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
My vagina is very pro this idea
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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