Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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