YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm just crazy horny about you
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Randomize