I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
