In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
