Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
