In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize