Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
