UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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