How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
