he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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