the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize