Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i dont even know how to be here
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize