Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize