This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Randomize
