You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
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