I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
