Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She's the barista slut.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
