You made me cry and you don't even care
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
