hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
