If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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