i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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