sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
