I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
