I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
