Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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