3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
she was so not down for the gang bang
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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