I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
