capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
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