Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
