All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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