I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
