How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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