Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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