No awkward lesbian experiences without me
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
