What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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