god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
