We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Randomize
