you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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