Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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