I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
