somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
