wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
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