Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
