You're completely useless in the revolution.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
The ass gains better be worth it
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