Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I am full of burrito and curiosity
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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