wat bout pragnant strippers??
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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