I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
