So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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