I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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