But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
