There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
