It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i just made my gag reflex go away.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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