and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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